At the moment I’m under a fog of cold medicine, hoping to rest enough that my body will be ready for a trip to Pittsburgh on Thursday. I have some pictures to share from my trip to Wisconsin but I feel like I need to address this heavy weight I’ve had on my chest the past week first.
On Wednesday I received the news from my oldest sister that our family dog, Zen, had been hit by a car and was killed. God. Just typing that was hard. I was a mess for the rest of the day. My heart was aching for my sisters, my mom, and especially my dad. Zen was his best friend and they had a very special relationship. I knew exactly what they were going through, seeing a body so still, when it had previously been so full of life. And no matter how much I tried to fight it, the experience of losing Porter washed over me while I thought about Zen and how much he will be missed. Two dogs, taken too soon.
I don’t know how I feel about the idea of heaven. I think it’s a nice one, at the very least, and I’d like to think that if there is a heaven, there’s a special place for all the animals that have touched people’s lives. Zen being the sweetest dog I’ve ever met, will be very popular there – if it does exist – and Porter will be happy to have his play-mate once again.
To my family: you will heal and he will become a wonderful memory to share. To Zen: thank you buddy, for being a bubble-eating, light-chasing, couch-hog, doggle-wearing, soft-eared, sweet boy. And for all the love you gave us – we will miss you very much.
(Kari wrote a lovely tribute to Zen too – you can see it here.)